Oh man, your life is MESSED UP right now. Not that anyone asked us. But they can officially start.

Send Jilly your questions by filling out the form at the bottom of this post or right here, and she’ll send you a piece of her mind.

Because during those troubled times, it’s always important to ask yourself: What WOULD Jilly do?

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I’m starting to plan for Spring Break with my girlfriends, and I’m not sure what to do. They’re all teensy-weensy size 2 people, and even though I’m normal-sized, I feel like a cow next to them. At school it’s not that big of a deal, since we’re in groups, and I dress pretty well for my body, but we’ll be in Cancun, and the idea of being in my bikini all week, next to them, is making me sick to my stomach. It’s not like we’re in middle school anymore and I can just be the awkward kid wearing a t-shirt in the pool. I know if I told them they’d just say “you look great” or something, which is sweet, but also bullshit. How do I get through my vacation without being self-conscious every single minute? I’m afraid I won’t even have a good time.

-The Big One

You might not think so now, but you’re already part of the way there: you see that, even though you’re not the same size as your friends, your body is normal, and (thank god), you’re not suggesting you spend the next three months subsisting on cayenne-flavored water, but instead taking a more positive step: looking for ways to feel better about yourself.

That’s not a “one and done” problem, unfortunately, but there are things you can do to get the ball rolling.

First off, if your college is anything like mine was, it has resources to help you deal with exactly this issue: counseling, free therapy sessions, even just student meetings about body image. After all, right around a quarter of women eventually develop an eating disorder, usually before they graduate college; if your school doesn’t have legitimate resources to help prevent and treat that, it’s remiss.

Therapy may seem extreme, but remember, it’s not something just for the diagnosed and/or diagnosable;

it’s for anyone who needs a place to discuss what’s troubling her, and who wants to develop techniques to feel healthier and happier (isn’t that basically everyone?).

Added bonus: if you’re on a school insurance plan, chances are that at least the first 10-12 sessions are free. You may not get that setup later in life, so take advantage of it now.

Secondly, head to the mall, or to ModCloth, and pick out a kick-ass swimsuit that you feel HOT in. Don’t automatically pass on one-pieces; the right one can make you feel like a ’40s film goddess. If you’re wearing a suit that makes you feel good, not self-conscious, you’ll project confidence, and the old maxim “nothing is sexier than confidence” is trite because it’s true.

Finally, (this is the most “yeah right” piece of advice) try not to place so much value on your looks, particularly your weight.

I know that’s easier said than done, especially in a world where this, apparently, is “plus-sized” :

This picture recently ran in Cosmopolitan magazine. And yes, they referred to her as “plus-sized.”

…but hear me out. Looks are great, but they’re never a substitute for a sparkling wit, or genuine kindness, or razor-sharp intellect. Those are what will help you achieve great things—deep friendships, a fulfilling career, or a happy family—not looks.

And beyond that, looks fade. Period. Invest in the parts of yourself that will grow and flourish over time, not something arbitrary and ephemeral like winning the metabolism-at-20 lottery. Physical beauty has a value, and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating it, but there is something wrong with thinking it’s more important than all the other things that make up a complete human being.

I’ve been working at the same company for a few years, since I graduated, and I have a good job. On paper, I’m doing well, on a decent career path, and have security, but I hatehatehate my life. The idea of doing this for another 40 years makes me want to tear my hair out, but throwing it away seems short-sighted. What do I do? I’m not sure what I’d rather be doing, just that I’m not happy here.

-Working Girl

You should look for something else.

You may feel like you’ve already invested too much in this path, but just a few years out of college? You’re a baby. You have SO MUCH TIME to change your mind.

That doesn’t mean you quit tomorrow. First, figure out what you do love.

Do you cook five-course meals on the weekend? Take an evening class at a culinary school. Love playing hostess? Offer to plan an event for a friend, or take a class in event planning, and see if you could envision that life. Always blogging? Put yourself out there and submit your writing somewhere. Don’t change jobs just for change’s sake; find out what might make you happier, then look with a focus, or passionately pursue your hobby outside of the office.

If you do translate your passion into a new job, remember, it will still be a job.

No job is always fun, and you might have to start at the bottom of a new ladder in order to get on a better track for you. But in the long run (which, sorry, will probably be more than 40 years), you’ll get a hell of a lot more out of it than a paycheck.